Innocence

Years ago he asked me, ”What if I leave you?”.

I looked in his eyes while pain was already tormenting my heart like a thousand arrows struck my chest. It was too painful that my knees started to be wobbly and I could collapse any moment then.

“No, please. Don’t ever leave me.”

He threw me a fainted smile and no longer answered. I was relieved then, because at least he did not even attempted to walk away.

But now things have changed and the naiveté in me already vanished. I grew up learning that there are more things in life than loving someone. Family would always be your solace. Opportunities are thrown for you to grab. School and achievements are much better to feel you are not worthless. Friends and best friends are there to make you feel special. City lights are there to light up your darkest hours. Sky is out there for you to gaze upon for inspiration. World is here, waiting for you to explore her. And, I am still quite young to anticipate for someone to be with me for the rest of my life.

So if ever he will ask me this question again, I would stood up, firm and bold.

“I will still be okay. But thank you for the feigned love you have given me.”

Perhaps, I will be pained but it would at least I know for certain it would fade. At least, I know better now. At least, I am strong and smart enough to learn that even love is ephemeral just like my innocence.